![]() It may be a bit longer if the substance abuse problems are really bad, so go at your own speed. Do this right and you'll cut a 'lifetime' down to just a year of part time study before you're healthy enough to be working/dating etc. When you've achieved that, use therapy to learn how to form healthy relationships and how to deal with emotional intensity/instability. First get clean and learn to deal sober, and drop the 'woe is me' attitude. If you are still abusing any substances then you are wasting your own and everyone else's time by worrying about BPD. Everyone's recovery method will be a little different so find your own based on what has been proven to work for others.ĭon't focus on BPD in therapy. And I mean read real cited books, not shitty online blogs. ![]() ![]() Stop reading about how 'hard' BPD is and start reading about recovery. Get away from BPD on the internet until you understand yourself more. If you get drawn into the 'BPD is my life' online culture then you might as well just throw away the next few years of your life now. It's not a healthy way to look at things. She is on the journey to healing.Fyi if you are going down the 'finding out what a "fp" is' route, then you are gonna waste a lot more of your time and your recovery WILL take longer. Helena Phillips enjoys writing, knitting, painting and drinking coffee. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-80) Your best is enough, you are enough and you are going to be okay. You’re doing your best, and you’re doing a great job. And if you can’t wait, please reach out for help.Įach painful minute is a step away from the last, not a reflection of the next. If you are not okay, and don’t have the strength to change your situation, know it’s okay not to be okay. Suicide attempts by people with BPD can best be understood as an impulsive response to severe emotional pain or a way of communicating distress. So, whoever you are, whatever your story is and whatever your day brings - know that you are still here and the world needs you to stay that way. I know you are struggling, and I don’t know the depth of it, but you’re still here, and you’re doing a great job.” I needed to hear that right when I did. I was talking on the phone with a friend of mine yesterday and she told me, “Helena, you are doing a great job. Sometimes I find myself curled up into a ball on the kitchen floor sobbing and praying. Sometimes I can hold onto past conversations I’ve had with her enough to not act on new fears. Sometimes I can be understanding and gentle with myself when I need to text her. Sometimes I can stand on the knowledge that these are only thoughts not facts. Sometimes I can get out of bed and eat breakfast and wash my face without letting it all overwhelm me. Will she leave? Is she okay? Will she decide life was better without me in it? Will she get sick? Am I too much? Does she think I’m selfish? Is she still okay? Does she think I’m dramatic? Is she okay now? Does she hate me? Should I just die?Įven as I hear these thoughts, fears and questions, sometimes I can still function. India imported 840,645 barrels per day (bpd) of Russian crude in May, up from 388,666 bpd in April and 136,774 bpd in May last year, Kpler data showed. I have constant thoughts, fears and questions flying around in my head all the time. Imports of Russian crude by India hit a record high in May, and will likely rise again in June, according to data compiled by commodity analysts Kpler. FP withdrawal is a real thing, and it’s not pretty. Even then, she still is an FP, and I still do struggle with BPD.īeing quarantined has been challenging because I haven’t gotten that hug that seems to make things better, or even seen my FP in person for weeks. ![]() I am honest and open with her, and I often say our relationship is as healthy as an unhealthy relationship can possibly be. My FP and I have worked together to create mutually healthy boundaries. Often, we idolize that person, and we fear them abandoning us in ways words can’t express. Some people struggling with BPD have an FP, or someone that we rely very heavily on for emotional support and balance. Instead of continuing to wait, I decided to open the window myself. I’ve been searching the web for a BPD article to normalize my thoughts and feelings - specifically, the open window of a person with BPD into the favorite-person relationship while in quarantine. Lately I’ve felt like I’m playing a solo volleyball match with my mental health. I struggle with depression, PTSD, anxiety and Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). I love the optimistic reframe of saying we are “safe at home” over being “stuck at home” during this COVID-19 crisis, though it’s also important to allow a judgement-free place to address challenges in the situation.
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